I just could never believe that in the "long-run" being good looking could be a burden. . . . Plus if at like work or something someone can't "see" beyond your looks and take your seriously that's their own ignorance and it's not your fault! Of course some people might be intimidated by beautiful people but for each of those there's plenty a cocky guy out there who isn't hehe

According to my experience, there are more perks to being attractive. When I was 4 sizes smaller, I got out of two speeding tickets. Bartenders, waiters, store employees, they were all more attentive and friendlier to me than they are now. But I think the biggest perk to being attractive is the self-confidence it brings. I never thought I was beautiful but I more or less liked how I looked. I felt good about myself, and I think that my confidence affected my life in general.

But there are some perks to being less attractive now, too. Like sleazy dudes don't catcall as I walk down the street anymore. That was NO fun.

I think you can always dress down to make yourself less attractive but if you're on the opposite end of the spectrum, it's a bit harder to make yourself attractive but not only do you have to work on the outside you also have to work on your self esteem/self confidence/personality.

Thanks God for making me beautiful and letting me know.

it's definitely a perk to be attractive most of the time. guys tend to be more attentive at restaurants, stores, etc. however, a lot of girls dislike me and the i apparently intimidate a lot of boys. you also have to put up with a lot of unwanted attention and misconceptions. i've had people think i'm a stupid party girl even though nothing could be further from the truth! i just have good genes and put some effort into my appearance (exercising, the way i dress all that stuff). overall, i'd much rather be attractive than unattractive though

I can understand why some people feel that their overwhelming beauty puts people off, or gives them more pain than perks, but at the same time, isn't beauty in the eye of the beholder?
Not everyone finds a certain type of woman gorgeous, so not EVERYONE would be off-put by them in coversations or something...right?
On a similar note (which I hope doesn't sound conceited!), I do sometimes find it difficult to be a really tall blonde. Sounds so lame, but guys are intimidated by me or see me as a Barbie and don't take me seriously. One jerk (who was a friend of a friend) went even so far as to interupt a conversation and say, "Shut up blondie and get naked."
ERLACK.

I think that being good looking definitely has more perks. People have way more misconceptions about average looking people or over weight people than they do compared to good looking people. Like everyone has mentioned more attractive people get better service at bars, restaurants, and in stores.

Retro Bunny, you are right, beauty is definately in the eye of the beholder! I can't believe that jerk told you to "shut up and get naked"!!! You hit him, right???

I think the problem is obvious its not about looks at all!! If we could just step back and look at the person from the inside out you will see that a lot of the "beautiful people" are ridiculously ugly on the inside it could be they have a snotty attitude or they just don't care about anyone elses feelings but their own. Either way looks don't matter in the long run (if you need evidence look a at your grandparents or for that matter your parents).

While yes being good looking has it's perks, I must say there are obvious downsides. I am often overlooked as being smart and have to try harder for people to pay attention to the fact that - yes - I can actually have a worthwhile, intelligent conversation and hold my own in a debate! *gasp*. People tend to pay more attention to the fact that I am good looking and less attention to my accomplishments and intelligence. ALSO, I've noticed that I often may even intimidate people (I'm 5'9" which is much taller than most people that live in my city) and am less likely to strike up a conversation with an interesting stranger than my less intimidating women counterparts.

I think it boils down to people treat other people that they find attractive better. Whether it be in bar, restaraunt, store, office, whatever, they do. I have friends that are extremely good looking and feel great about themselves. It would be easy for someone like Paris Hilton to say that she felt slighted because of how she looks. I think that if Paris Hilton were to go to a very serious event, she would not be taken seriously. I think it's more though the way that she would behave and dress that would cause her to be treated that way. Remember that movie Erin Brokovick? (However you spell that.) She was smokin hot right? At first she got dismissed but she was persistent and even though she looked the way she did, people took her seriously. Sorry for the reference, I love Julia Roberts. Lol. I think that people from either side of the spectrum have their things to deal with on a daily basis. Sometimes the less attractive people have to compete for attention from the more attractive people and sometimes the more attractive people get unwelcome attention.

MartiniLush
Sadly, no... I didn't hit him. I just walked away. Oh well, even if I am 6' tall, he was a very fit athlete, so I'm sure he wouldn't have objected to hitting a girl either!

Well like someone else said, it depends on what you consider attractive. And I think some of the things people say make it obvious that people assume that "beautiful" people must be dumb and/or snotty and only concerned with themselves. I'm sure there are perks but I think it's silly to say that "beautiful" people never have any problems. It also depends on the person to though. I don't really want to make assumptions about how easy someone has it or how hard someone has it so I don't know if I really want to answer one way or the other.

"I do sometimes find it difficult to be a really tall blonde. Sounds so lame, but guys are intimidated by me or see me as a Barbie and don't take me seriously."

we're in the same boat Retro! Us tall blonds have a tough time with being taken seriously and unintentionally intimidating people lol

being attractive besets you with different standards and expectations, so it probably has its own sucky side. those that believe they are unnattractive drop-out of that kind of race early on

I think that it is very circumstancial and there are many factors that can go into peolpes attitudes toward an attractive person. Example, if you are beautiful and shy some might think you are a snob because you don't put yourself out there. Then it becomes harder when you feel more comfortable and do jump in socially those people are not receptive, because they already have an opinion of you as being distant, i.e. ice queen. There are to many variables to generalize an answer.

Ok, I'll be the designated shallow, b*tchy commenter. ;p

Perks, definitely. People like Jessica Alba, Shia Labeouf, Britney Spears (way back when she started), Rihanna, anyone in the mainstream music industry are only there because they're good looking. Of course by Hollywood's standards, not mine.

Plus, nobody wants to hear that it's "hard being beautiful" since it sounds like utter crap. Just sayin'!

I have unusual and good looks. I'm very fair skinned with blonde-white hair and blue, blue eyes. It's a different look nowadays. I'm also very attractive and have a great curvy figure. Not to toot my own horn, I've just always known that I was attractive since Day 1. And it sucks. People always point out my looks as if I'm excessively flawed. I hate the attention. I know what I look like, I see myself in the mirror! I wish people would keep their opinion to themselves!! They don't. It really is a pain. I would like to be treated as a normal person!!

I'm going to have to go with a pain on this one.

All of my friends said before they knew me, they thought I was a queen B. And I never get hit on. Maybe I'm unapproachable b/c I give off the wrong vibe...either that or I need to stop hanging out with my guy friends when I go out!

But I always feel like I need to make the extra effort to smile so people don't think I'm a stuck up snob. Also, always being looked at isn't a perk in my opinion. It makes me feel really self-conscious =\

However, I'm not going to sit here and say I wish I wasn't attractive. I like what I see in the mirror, haha.

I will say its nice some of the time, but just for example I have to say that it also sucks a lot too.
Examples:
I had some really close friends who stopped talking to me after I lost weight and grew out of the awkward teen stage. My personality never changed, but they point blank told me that I got way too much attention and that it wasn't fair to them; that they wanted the attention from guys and I should just back off. That was extremely hurtful because I would have never done anything to hurt them and I had actually set them one of them up on a date with a guy she liked. (Ironically we had completely different taste in guys anyways, so the guys they liked weren't my type at all)
I had a guy I really cared about treat me like crap because to him I was a trophy girlfriend, he never listened to anything I said once we started dating and he was completely self centered, except when I was about to leave.
I'm expected to be dumb, so even when I say something that I know is right in a new group of people, they don't listen to me because I can't be right (it changes after a while, but they shouldn't assume it in the first place)
I get to deal with girls who make snide comments about me to insult me and my intelligence/work ethic/stereotypical fault of a pretty girl (really annoying when someone say something like "well, i just wasn't born skinny" yeah, I wasn't either dear, so don't hate on me because I worked my tail off to boost my metabolism to get this skinny)

yeah, i know what your thinking "oh! poor you" well the main thing that sucks is those friends I talked about earlier I always thought they were beautiful people until they started being catty and jealous. The thing I know is that its a lot better to be truly liked by the people you care about for you, not for appearances, because how bad would it suck to be popular for your looks but then wind up alone as you get older and they have fade away.

Pains...
People expect too much from you. I've been told "I thought you were bit*hie/snobby..." so I try to smile more which seems to help.
But then I realized its better not to listen to what people have to say about me and if boys don't want to approach me then I shouldn't have to waste my time with them anyways. (I find those that try to get to know me would at least try harder to understand me)
There are perks but ppl tend to judge you to be the person you are not, instead of who you are...
The grass always seems greener on the otherside!

Who is this "says one woman" kidding? Research has shown that on an average, prettier people are happier than their, ahem, plainer counterparts. Prettiness or beauty is also defined in terms of symmetry of facial features, which since primordial times signifies better health and fertility (when choosing mates i.e.) ..
Dunno where I fit in all this mumbo-jumbo

I don't think of myself as beautiful or exceptionally good looking but I do know that others find me attractive. My coloring is quite unusual for my ethnicity and has always gotten me a great deal of attention- often unwanted. I am thankful that I don't look hideous but at the same time I wish that I was a little less noticeable when I was growing up.

What one person finds beautiful isn't what everyone else thinks...remember that.

Good looks only cause pain when you engage in a playful wet t-shirt contest with your buds and you're using gasoline instead of water.

I know how it feels both ways. I was such an ugly duckling growing up. In Jr. High I was made fun of regarding my chest size, braces, glasses and the hair on my arms. I'm light skinned when I don't self tan and I have dark hair. Fast forward and this is what attracted my husband to me (besides my sparkling personality of course!), he loves my light skin and dark hair. Anyway, i'm very shy so a lot of people get the wrong impression that i'm stuck up or whatever. So then i'm overly nice and people think they can treat me like dirt. I also constantly get dirty looks from girls everywhere, like when I pick up my dry cleaning or go through a drive through. You know what look I mean, I smile and they just look me up and down, then look away w/an attitude. I still think it hurts way more not being attractive so i'm not complaining. I just need to remind myself not to let mean girls bother me and just ignore 'em!

For the majority of people who complain that beauty is a burden, I think it has more to do with their personality, personal care and mannerisms than it does with anything that they were given at birth. I don't think someone who actually feels up to complaining about how beautiful they think they are is a particularly modest or humble person. Secondly, people respond to the way you dress and take care of yourself. If you have full makeup daily, people are going to assume that you're high maintenance. If you dress provocatively, people aren't going to assume that you're here to work.

However, regardless of what people think of you just from sight, they can easily be swayed by your behavior. If people don't treat you seriously, you should evaluate the way you act before anything else.

i think for people who are self-conscious, it sucks to stick out, whether you think you're plain, gorgeous, or somewhere in between. that's my take on it.

You know, if you meet a lot of people, and all of them seem to think you are stuck up and snobby, then it's probably a) you have a tendency to hang out with only catty people or b) it's really you.

Take for example, Ms. Dianna Chung at the beginning of the article. You know/feel/think that people ignore you because you are beautiful, so what do you do? You put on a stern serious librarian attitude and "command" people to listen? Seriously now, how is that going to improve anything? It only confirms people's perception that you are bossy, arrogant and entitled, because you are treating them that way right now.

If anything one should as ckeller825 and others said, put on a warm smile and take note of your body langugage. It sends the message that you are actually friendly. Speaking eloquently and elegantly (without being pedantic and condescending) will also clear up the stereotype of being stupid.

I'm not saying there aren't people who DO take comfort in looking down on the beautiful. You can't do much about those except ignoring that pettiness. But I've also hung out with some self-proclaimed "hotties/beauties/hunks/babes/what-have-yous" who constantly complain to me about how other guys and girls are jealous of them and what not. When I suggest to them to act warmer and friendlier, some of them act disgusted and say something like "why should I cater to other people when it's really their problem of being insecure".

To those folks I'd like to say: Get over yourself. You think you are the only one who has to exert effort to make friends and conversations? This is called socializing. It's like how "uglies" have to sometimes strive to be funny, interesting and "have a great personality", to assure others they are not a) talking to you because they must be eager and desperate for your company, b) a social outcast and/or c) having lots of hang ups about being unfortunate looking.

The uber smart and utter idiots, the rich and the poor, the city dwellers and the country folks, we all have our own stereotypes and our own perks and pain. We all have to work in order to prove ourselves worthy of others' friendships and company. If you think people are going to stick around and learn about the "real you" before you assure them you are worth sticking around in the first place, you probably actually do need to get over yourself.

RollingRed: Well said! As I was reading the article Bella used as an example/inspiration, I realized the same thing. A) Who says that this woman is all that gorgeous? Who says that anyone who proclaims themselves gorgeous is really that?
B) Good social skills aren't natural. Everyone will have some problems socializing. Some people are considered too out-going, or too reserved, when really, they're just covering up for their own insecurities. I don't think anyone has EVERYONE that likes them.

Sorry for the banter. I think summer vacation has taking a toll on my brain. ;D

i agree with carhornsinapril.

The worst thing about it is that a lot of girls decide to hate you on sight. You enter a room, you get the up-and-down and the green look, and can expect no friendship. You know where you're at when good-looking girls and guys DON'T give you that kind of behavior.
Worst story for me was when had a roommate who made my life HELL after giving me the up-and-down. I can safely say I did everything to be nice to her from the start. But yeah, she wasn't much to look at and trying to lose weight. I put two and two together and stopped trying after a while. Thank God I'm no longer in that house. Moreover if you're naturally beautiful (rather than attractive through very good grooming), girls hate you more.

Second-worst problem: People think that because you're beautiful, you must be either dumb, arrogant, or both. If you look good, your you simply cannot be having a 3.8 GPA; you must be cheating your way up. And oh! you could never be good at math. How ignorant to stereotype like this. I think people should stop stereotyping and be open to the fact that someone can be beautiful and smart too, without losing their head in jealousy.

I think there's a 'range' where beauty is more of a perk and after a certain level it gets more problematic. On the whole though, the benefits are obvious and I'd still pick beauty over average looks .

Oh and in the article: I don't understand the logic of how men don't ask you out if you're beautiful. Of course they do, more so.
Damn, is Carolynn Thelemaque supposed to be extremely good-looking? Nothing special imho but looks good for her age

Its funny how quick people posted about how "beautiful" they were and how hard it is. Maybe 5% of the population is attractive so I doubt all of you "hot blondes" are really so. People probably dont like you bc you have a bad attitude and are a snob. Not because you are "beautiful".

Sorry, that doesn't apply to me. If I were a biatch, I wouldn't be having the friends and fun I have. I'm always the first to say 'hiiii, how ya doing' and I can't help it if I get a 'hmph' in return. I talk to everybody because I believe life is too short to be shallow or arrogant. I also easily acknowledge someone who is prettier or more stylish than me; I believe I can learn from these ladies. Sure I'll have a 'damn, she's prettier than me!' initially but that's not going to affect my behavior towards them if they are nice people.
But I'm not going to apologize for being aware of having great looks and figure and sexiness myself. It's easier to post about it on a forum, I wouldn't say all of this stuff out loud.

Come on. I've heard Jessica Alba and Michelle Phiefer complain about how hard it is to be beautiful in Hollywood. Personally, I think both are too stuck on themselves and there are far more beautiful actresses out there who still manage to get parts. It's a lot easier to make a beautiful person ugly for the camera but it's not as easy to make an average looking girl beautiful.

Remember, pretty has a shelf life (Sofia Loren aside) and most people know that.

I'd rather be a regular Jane and know that the people who love me do so because of who I am rather than always wonder if the people around me really saw me for who I was rather than the reflected glory of being by my side.

Shopper90210
Me-ow! ;D
How can we be sure that only 5% of the population is beautiful? Lame, I know, but I don't really find anyone particularly unattractive!
And in defense of my very insecure teenage ego, I don't find myself "attractive". I find myself homely looking. I was simply making a comment about being tall&blonde, nothing more or nothing less.

And I think your whole situation depends on your attitude too. If you're positively confident about whatever looks you have, you'll project that onto other people.

It all boils down to your personality anyway.
No matter how beautiful you may be, or think you may be, a bad attitude makes you ugly. Vis Versa.

I would definitely say that there are more perks to being conventionally beautiful. I'm definitely not perfect but I am pretty cute. I've never gone to a job interview and not gotten the job. This could be attributed to other factors as well...I'm hardworking, conversational, I know what people usually want to hear. But having good genes I'm sure helps.

That said, there are downsides. A lot of people assume I'm not smart. Guys think they have the right to hit on me just because I'm there.

Can I also just say that everyone has a different idea of beauty. And taking care of yourself makes a HUGE difference, as well as projecting confidence and smiling a lot.

totally agree with you on the last few lines. Few people are going to measure the symmetry of your nose when you're confident, cute and fun to be with.

I think if you're a b*tch, no matter what you LOOK like, you're ugly.

Bella has posted these kinds of blogs before and of course there are people that will say "yes, i believe i am beautiful" and then there are the others who say its not humble enough for them to say that but it really does all boil down to personality. I was just simply stating that sometimes I find it harder for people to want to get to know me initially because of my looks but when I strike up convos with them they are surprised at how pleasant and funny I am.

And I'm not saying im gods gift to man or that EVERYONE thinks i'm pretty. I am happy with the way I look and I consider myself to be quite attractive. I also think I have a great personality but is that so wrong? Is it wrong to celebrate my happiness with myself once in a while? I don't think saying "yes, i consider myself to be attractive" to be self-absorbed or snotty or make me less of a good person. I think everyone should find the good in themselves and what they think makes them beautiful and celebrate it because in the end its what and how you feel about yourself that matters because everyone has a different way of interpreting beauty. Some societies and cultures have very specific ways of perceiving beauty so to each his/her own.

Retro Bunny
Austerity

I totally agree with you guys...

I am naturally a friendly person but I find it hard to always have to smile when I am entering somewhere...or the unwanted attention is def NOT a perk...

I love the fact that I was not born ugly or something but I hate that people assume that you are not smart-I have a 3.8 GPA and am treated like a "dumb beauty"...

You know what I hate the most though? the fact that guys are coming up to my LITTLE BROTHER to try to pry info about me out of him...oh and the fact that I get stared down by guys that are way older than me! I mean I know I look good but please don't call me "Baby"..

I agree with you KathleenxCouture!

It does especially in work places!!

Beauty can be a burden.

Have you ever been told 'WOW! I like your ....(looks)' over and over?

It might be nice to start with.. but it gets annoying after a while.

But the truth of the matter is ... you can't tell a good person from a bad one simply from their looks.

The other thing is .... beauty does not last. Look at their grandparents...