Sales of This Cult-Favorite Cream Are Up 5,000%, Because It's Actually Magic

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When I was 12, I read in a now-defunct glossy magazine that Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen swore by one under-the-radar, multipurpose body lotion. I begged my mother to drive me to Walmart and pay for a tube of the cosmically titled Egyptian Magic so that I, too, could emulate my preteen idols.

Although I've grown out of my Olsen twin-everything phase (sort of), I still slather on Egyptian Magic ($22) like nobody's business. Why? Because, friends, it f*cking works — and if you've yet to try this healing hybrid of cream and balm, prepare for it to live up to its name.

If any skincare product can take me to a higher place, it's this little blue and white bottle.

Back in the day, I used to treat flat-iron-induced burns with Egyptian Magic (and who am I kidding? My clumsy ass still does). But over the years, I've noticed that pretty much no surface skin ailment I've come across is immune to this cruelty-free blend of olive oil, beeswax, honey, bee pollen, royal jelly, and bee propolis.

According to LordPharaoh ImhotepAmonRa, the illusive founder of Egyptian Magic who is said to have learned the potent recipe from a wise, mysterious stranger named Dr. Imas back in 1986, "Divine Love" is the seventh and last ingredient. I'm not sure how you're able to bottle up such a holy feeling, but if any skincare product can take me to a higher place, it's this little blue and white bottle.

Although the product has only been on shelves for the past 30 years, ImHotepAmonRa claims he can chart its influence much farther back in time. As the name would imply, Dr. Imas swore that Egyptian pharaohs were also buried with, and sometimes in, the formula of beeswax, as it was lauded for its preserving and cosmetic properties. When I go, please do the same for me.

What's so good about this stuff that I want it to follow me to my actual grave? Apparently, many of you already know — as Allure reported, sales of the balm are up a whopping 5,000 percent. Just about every Egyptian Magic hoarder you meet will share exactly why they love the goo, and the reason is always so different and personal to them. For instance, after stealing some of mine, my grandmother got hooked and swore that it cured her eczema.

I've tried prestige creams that retail for upward of four times Egyptian Magic's humble price tag, and although I have other favorites, nothing comes close to zapping problems quite like what can be found inside this little jar.

I'm a clumsy mess, so even the most innocuous act of making a grilled cheese can leave me with some severe burns. I heal fastest after applying Egyptian Magic after my wound scabs over — within a few days, its crust will fall off and I'm good as new (and ready to be attacked by another pound of smoldering gruyere). As a Winter runner who can often be spotted sniffling her way through a frosty half-marathon, nothing gets rid of my chapped nose and lips better than a pinch of this gunk.

But that's the secret — just a bit will do. I've had friends scoff at the effects of Egyptian Magic because they don't use it properly. You only need the smallest bit — just enough to cover your fingerprint — to get the job done. Then, make sure that you rub the balm to warm it up before you swipe it over your skin. It comes in a hard formula that needs heat for things to melt and spread properly.

I've tried prestige creams that retail for upward of four times Egyptian Magic's humble price tag, and although I have other favorites, nothing comes close to zapping problems quite like what can be found inside this little jar. I consider it truly the best thing Mary-Kate and Ashley have given me — yup, even better than New York Minute.