Judging from this photo of Elle Decor’s Women in Design feature, it's clear that Kelly Wearstler is an advocate of busts. She's not alone; I've been wanting one for ages. But from the looks of it, hers are antiques. Antique busts at 1st Dibs — a collective of antique dealers nationwide — range from $2,000 to over $25,000. Sure it's nice to have an original, and art is always an investment. But if like me you want one just for aesthetics, you've come to right place. I know three places you can buy one from as low as $40 to up to $250.
This plaster Pie'd Pan Bust (inquire for price) was made by hand by artist Stephen Antonson. Personally, I get a huge kick out of it, and would love to display it in a living room, foyer, or hallway. I love its playful twist on the neoclassical, but I suspect that some of you are too traditionalist to agree. What do you think?
For those of you who worry about sagging skin on or around your breasts, these firming creams are designed to lift, tighten, and rejuvenate your bust contours by improving tone, texture, and firmness. These are great for new mothers, or for anyone looking for a topical preventative treatment.
Keep in mind that firming creams claim to hydrate, improve your skin's resilience and boost antioxidant and collagen production — but they aren't cure-alls, and their effects aren’t permanent. I've found a few bust-firming products below. These are items I haven't tested yet, but I can recommend these Apivita Express Bust Firming Mask Packets firsthand, which make your skin smell and feel baby soft.
Mama Mio Boob Tube ($38) is a product meant for new moms. Not only does it claim to soothe sore, itchy breasts and nipples, but it also prevents stretch marks and improves tone and firmness. If you have any friends who just had a little one, this is a great way to show some, uh, support.
Guinot Liftenseur Firming Bust Cream ($40) promises to tighten, plump, and mend the suspensory tissues in your skin. The box says to avoid your nipples, so consider yourself warned.
For one last drugstore option, read more
I know some of you are already fans of Bust magazine (I'm willing to bet money that Krampalicious is a long-time reader like me). But since it's an independent magazine that isn't carried all over the place, it might be new to some of you. If you like smart stories and saucy sex advice and fashion spreads that have curvy girls as well as slim ones, you'll like it a lot.
Every issue has a quirky and fun beauty how-to story, and the new one is a big tease. Literally. It's a step-by-step guide to recreating Amy Winehouse's bouffant, and unsurprisingly, it's not a five-minute project. You know you're in for a hairy adventure when a story begins by suggesting that you purchase a hairpiece. Fortunately, the instructions are easy to follow, so even novices can figure it out.
Even if you're not as high-drama as Amy Winehouse, you could always work this 'do for Halloween, which isn't too far away. Check out this preview of the story below to get an idea of what the look is like. (The magazine isn't at big stores like Target, but it's easily available at indie bookstores, Borders, and Barnes and Noble). If you try out this hairstyle, let me know how it goes—I think it would be fun to post pictures of everyone's results!
Sagging, drooping breasts are common complaints among the aging and those post-childbirth. I'm not sure why people don't expect it, since the laws of gravity tell us that what goes up must come down. Still, I guess losing the perky round shape of your breasts is a sign of saying sayonara to your youth. Hopefully now you can restore some of that depleting collagen in your boobies with these breast-firming treatments!
Apivita Express Bust Firming Mask with Centella ($24) is an invigorating and firming bust cream. (I'm not sure why they call it a mask since it doesn't dry and you don't wash it off.) It comes in individually packed sachets for easy travel use. It's formulated to help elasticity and firmness in your breasts, improve the overall texture of your breasts and leave your sexy skin feeling smooth and supple. After showering, apply a generous layer to your bust in circular motions until it's fully absorbed.
For two more breast-firming creams, read more
Pout Bustier Bust Enhancing Cream ($42) is a luxurious whipped cream made to firm the skin between and below your breasts. It's a cleavage concoction, if you will—one that helps to retexturize, moisturize and firm your skin. It also has a soft subtle shimmer and a sensual, floral fragrance made from rose, geranium and ylang ylang.
The packaging is pretty, too. It's pale pink trimmed with black lace created to mimic the look of lingerie.
Use the cream smooth in morning and evening for 28 days (which is when you should start to see results). Apply with gentle strokes beginning with the skin right under your ta-tas and working your way in between and upwards toward your collarbones.
I haven't tried it yet, but I don't see how it can hurt. Plus, it's a great way to remember to do your breast exams. Ooh, or you could even have your partner apply the cream for you—nice!