bizarre beauty

If you're prone to having nightmares, you might want to look away. Then again, it's kinda hard not to stare at these prison inmates, considering they've tattooed their eyes. Not their eyelids — their eyes. "Nobody's got it done," Paul Inman explained. "I thought black would be a little scary, so I went with dark blue." Good thing the dark blue is so completely not scary, then, right?

In a move that seems lifted straight from Harry Potter, a Chilean skincare brand hopes to entice you with its line of snail creams. Arenscaracol touts itself as "the most complete line of snail slime extract." (Don't you just hate it when your skincare regimen is lacking in snail slime?) The line offers face and body creams that promise to improve skin strength, repair damaged tissue, and create a smoother complexion. While snail slime certainly isn't the grossest ingredient you'll find in cosmetics, I can't say its inclusion entices me to try these products. Plus, think of the poor snails! It's not as though they can escape quickly if their slime is being harvested. Would you try (or have you tried) anything from Arenscaracol?

Source: Flickr User oskay

Gross (but useful!) Hask Henna 'n' Placenta ($2) for hair has been around forever, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that now there are placenta facials.

Placentas, also known as afterbirth, are full of protein, iron, and tons of vitamins and minerals, which, I will allow, make them excellent for the health of hair, skin, and nails. People have been using the placentas of sheep and horses as beauty aids for time immemorial, in fact. But guess what?  We have a lot of nice ways to synthesize this stuff now, and you could also just use wheat protein and run-of-the-mill vitamins to get the same effect. I guess treatments like this are more natural, but to me, they're also gross. I used a placenta hair treatment once, and although it worked well, it was no better than some hot oil and a deep conditioner, and it smelled pretty funky. If you were offered a placenta facial, would you take it in all its "natural" glory?

Who doesn't like a little decorative soap in his or her bathroom? Etsy has the craziest varieties of decorative soap options known to mankind. Oh, what a little creativity, a bit of glycerin, and any type of mold (and I mean any) will get you these days.

Six bucks will get you Honey, I Can't Find My Teeth, a denture-shaped soap gift set made from goat's milk. Can you imagine poor granny reaching for her dentures, only to be shocked by these soapy lookalikes? At least they're scented with the palate-pleasing scent of peppermint, no? I'm not so sure that these false teeth will be making it to my bathroom shelves. What about you? Are these chompers cool or do they bite?

Via this semi-NSFW Twilight lulz blog, I've learned that Bic's line of Soleil razors — whose funk turned me off last year — now includes Twilight and Bella shaving options. I assume it's an attempt to hop on the New Moon train, but don't the bigwigs know that a true Twi shaver would have sparkles in the handle?

Is On the Cuff off the heezy? Uh, no. But it's entertaining nonetheless. Its inventor, Rana Bauer, created these foam cuffs to combat "one of life's most annoying problems." That problem: gravity! After becoming fed up with water dripping down her arms while she washed her face, Bauer designed the $7.99 cuffs in an attempt to keep elbows everywhere dry. I could see this being a smart idea for the Wicked Witch of the West — after all, if water kills you, you've gotta keep that off your skin — but is this idea really necessary?